Easily condemning parts of ourselves or others as bad or wrong we convict them with little or no trial as criminal. Putting these scandalous pieces of self into a jail we walk away, throw out the key and leave this part of self to slowly starve, dehydrate and commit the most painfully slow type of suicide. Now we’ve so fragmented ourselves, we’ve become the convicted, the condemner, the jailer, and ironically we’re lonely with the company of this trio living within. Though living may be a tongue-in-cheek term as sustaining the life of the jailer and the condemner comes at the cost of suppressing the convicted – that clearly is a recipe lacking in vitality. Even more ironically, the seeming goal of deadening the pain has now backfired and suffering has become a constant torment as this jailer now has the job of ensuring the convicted stays in their cell.
Clearly the game of getting rid of something that you’ve labeled as wrong or bad then needs to be viewed differently. Is it possible to reverse this condemnation with acceptance? Or will then the opposite drama be played out? Accepting everything with open arms may be a slippery slope into smothering or acceptance can be erroneously viewed as another form of condemnation, condemning the condemner. So wherein lies a healthy balance of nurturing?
Living out the push-pull of condemnation with acceptance is really the exploration of intimacy. Seeing into self and being so in tune with self that we can consistently and dynamically re-evaluate what we need in this moment is a disciplined art. With great courage, we can then face the jailer, rip down the prison and unleash the prisoner, releasing them from their bondage. All of this is anchored simply from inner support.
The relationship you have with your inner support can only be strengthened by consciously standing-up to the inner jailer. Digging deep, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and again exploring the inner landscape with fortitude can then become easier when this inner sense of safety becomes more deeply experienced. When support is focused on and developed in this conscious way, it then becomes stronger and more able to engage in its natural consciousness of support. We are the only ones standing in the way of having a full and grand relationship with support. It sure doesn’t come from anything or place outside of ourselves, this we know from years, perhaps decades, of practice. Nor would you want it to as that would make freedom contingent on others and then you’ve expanded your staff of jailers. Surrendering to ourselves fully and completely brings the light into the prison and as easily as it was created, it can be torn down releasing its prisoner: inner support. In other words, accept your acceptability.